In those moments immediately following her death, one thing I forgot is that “hurting people, hurt people.” Therefore, instead of having a disciplined response to the anger and drama directed at me by someone who was clearly hurting, I reacted.
Not only did I react, I exploded.
The human side of me felt like they deserved it, but the spiritual side of me knew that was not the way to handle the situation.
I have had some time to reflect over what happened, and I cannot help but wonder, why. Why do I get so defensive and feel the need to defend, explain and prove that I am right and the other person is wrong?
If I know that I AM NOT who they said I am, I AM NOT what they said I am, and I DID NOT do what they said I did, then why does their opinion matter that much? Why?
Will their opinion of me change my life? Does their opinion validate who I am and what I do? The answer is simple and it is NO! I have nothing to prove. Neither do you!
The reality of it is that no matter what you say or do, some people will form an opinion of you, and there is nothing you can do to change it. Sometimes in trying, you are fighting a losing battle that will only leave you frustrated. Sometimes it is just better to stay SILENT.
In this phase of my life, I am seeking to walk in SILENT COURAGE.
Being someone who has always fought back, I need COURAGE to stand still (be in a position of rest), COURAGE to be SILENT and COURAGE to trust (to rely upon or place confidence in) God to see me through and vindicate me.
I need COURAGE to know that being SILENT does not make me weak, it does not mean that I am the one wrong and it does not mean the negativity directed at me is true.
“COURAGE is what it takes to stand up and speak; COURAGE is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” (Winston Churchill).
I am praying to God for the wisdom to know the difference between when I need COURAGE to speak up and when I need courage to stay SILENT and let Him fight for me.
In the end, remember this:
- “When I accept myself, I am freed from the burden of needing you to accept me.” Dr. Steve Maraboli
- “Your value is measured by what God says about you, not what someone else thinks about you.”
- “Sometimes not saying anything is the best answer. You see, silence can never be misquoted.”
- “In the multitude of words, sin is not lacking. But he who restrains his lips is wise.” Proverbs 10:19 NKJV