Proverbs 27:17

A Friend Who Sticks Closer Than a Brother

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Years ago a friend and I were going through similar struggle but neither one of us knew it. We were drowning in a situation alone that we could have overcome together through prayer, support and encouragement.

We were both saved and in the church, but felt we had no one. Of course, we have God and can always go to him, but sometimes we want to have someone to go through it with us. We want someone who can pray with us and for us when we cannot muster up the strength to pray for ourselves. We want someone who will speak the truth to us in love when we are going off track (Proverbs 27:6 and Proverbs 27:17).

Neither one of us wanted to share what we were going through for fear of judgment. Sometimes Christians can be the most judgmental people. We preach a message of love, but do not always practice what we preach.

We want grace extended to us, but do not always want to extend it to others. We want to be understood, but do not want to understand. It is as the quote by Ian Percy says, “We judge others by their behaviors. We judge ourselves by our intentions.”

I am not sure which one of us first confessed our struggle, but when it was out, both of us released a sigh of relief. Finally, we had someone who understood and could relate. Finally, we had someone who would not judge us for our shortcomings. Finally, someone we could trust with our story.

“The first to help you up are the ones who know how it feels to fall down.”

I am a Christian myself and do not want anyone to think I am bashing Christians, so I will just make it a people issue. Today I am running into more and more women who feel they are alone and the only one in a certain situation.

Very few of us have friends that we can really get raw and naked with. I love my husband and consider him my best friend, however there are some things that I just want to say to another woman. Only a woman in a situation similar to me will understand some things. Yet so many of us do not have another woman we can really go to for support.

It is unfortunate but I find more women today are competing with each other instead of supporting each other. I am finding more people who find joy in talking about your struggle because it makes them feel better about their situation. It allows them to say, “I’m not as bad as ____________ or At least I do not do ____________.” We are all going through something so instead why not extend the same grace to others that we want extended to us.

Not every woman will receive what I am saying but for those whom will, I pray that YOU ARE a friend who some woman knows she can turn to and trust with her secrets, a friend who will pray, and a friend who will understand without a word said.

If you do not have someone who you can turn to, just know that God is always listening. You can always talk to Him and you can surely pray and ask him to send you a “friend who will stick closer than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24)” I did and he sent me more than one.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “The only way to have a friend is to be one.” So I ask, are you a friend who sticks closer than a brother?

Have a blessed day and remember to find the “jolly” in every “moment” life brings your way!

~ Keishawna

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You Are Not Alone!

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“A friend loves at all times” Proverbs 17:17

It’s been almost a year now that I have been home with my son. I can honestly say that I spent the first ten and a half months of this year trying to defend my decision, purpose and place as a stay at home mom. There were times when I felt like people in my life did not understand my decision so I withdrew and sometimes isolated myself from everyone but my immediate family. At some point I found myself drowning in life because I was keeping so much inside and trying to figure out this new place in my life all on my own. I was like a suitcase that was clearly overflowing, but yet I was still trying to stuff more into it rather than pulling some things out and dealing with them. But, thank God for a friend who saw me in ten feet of water and threw out a life line!

The reality of it is that some people will not understand your reality until it becomes theirs. When I was single I “thought” I knew what it was to be a wife and said what I would and would not do and then I became a wife. When I didn’t have children I judged others on their parenting skills because I “thought” I knew it all. After all I was a Licensed Masters Social Worker and had a Bachelor’s Degree in Child Development…… and then I became a mother. Were some of my “thoughts” valid? Yes. Were some of them wrong? Heck YES! This is simply because some lessons in life can’t be taught; they are learned as you experience them.

The good news is that you are NEVER alone. No matter how much we try to convince ourselves that we are the only one experiencing something, there is always someone who can relate. A lot of times we just don’t know this because we don’t reach out. After that friend threw out the life line, I realized as a stay at home mom she experienced some of the same struggles, thoughts, doubts, etc as I did. Then I begin to open up more to another one of my stay at home mom friends and she experienced some of the same things as well. Here I was thinking, “poor little me, no one understands me” and all the while God had some amazing women right in my face. Grant it, their situation may not have been completely the same, but the concepts and principles were the same.

If you think there is no one, pray and ask God to send you “a friend who will love at all times.” After all, “iron sharpens iron” (Proverbs 27:17). We need someone to walk this road with us that can “sharpen” us and help as grow as a woman, a mother and friend.

Have a blessed day and remember to find the “jolly” in every “moment” life brings your way!

~ Keishawna

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