A few weeks ago at church I went up for prayer. The person praying with me stated that the Lord loves it when I minister to (serve and take care of) my family. She said at this time, that is my purpose and calling. I remember looking at her and thinking, “What about me?” Who ministers to me?
That same week, I had lunch with a friend and she shared with me one of the lessons from her bible study class. Her teacher said that when you are really doing the will of God, your scale may not be balanced. God may want you to focus on one area more than another, thus tipping the scale to one side, leaving you to “appear” unbalanced.
When she said that to me I had to really stop and think about it. So many times as a woman, wife and mother we are expected to balance it all. I think this expectation came from society, but somewhere along the way we, as women, put that expectation on ourselves. We look at Clare Huxtable (The Cosby Show) and June Cleaver (Leave It to Beaver) on television and think that we are supposed to balance it all perfectly.
So, I go back to her statement that sometimes God will have you focus more on one area than another. I sat across from her as she spoke and a light bulb went off in my head. At that moment, I exhaled for the first time in a long time. I realized that in this moment of my life, my family is my priority and that is enough. Does that mean there will never be time for the things I want to pursue? No, it just means that right now my scale is tipped to the side where my family sits.
So to the world (my family and friends), the fact that I am a stay at home mom and I can’t manage to pursue my event planning business full time doesn’t make sense. It didn’t make sense to me either because I was trying to balance the scale. I was trying to give my husband, children, home, business, etc equal time. That meant there was no time for me because I spent all my time trying to live up to an expectation that God did not put on me. God is not asking me to be perfect or to balance it all, He is asking me to be purposeful and focus on that which He has called me to do in this season. When I do that, I am ministered to and taken care of because I am not spending all of my time and energy doing things I am not called to do right now.
When God is in the picture the things that aren’t given as much time, are still taken care of because He will show you strategically how to do it without wearing yourself out. So, yes my scale is leaning to one side. No, my scale is not my balanced but YES, my life is balanced because I am in His will and am living up to His expectation of me, not society’s, my family or friends.
So this means that sometimes, I have to let some things go that I want for the sake of my family and at other times my family has to wait while I take a moment for myself. My life may look chaotic to you, but with God, it all balances out in the end, even when it doesn’t look that way.
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