Are You Traveling on the Right Road?

I saw this quote recently and it really challenged me. I’ve been running a lot lately and I’m tired. It’s time I stop and evaluate this road I’m on.

Don’t exhaust yourself running on a path that’s not yours to follow. The road may be great for someone else, but it doesn’t mean it’s right for you.

If you find yourself on the wrong road, GET OFF.

I know starting over can be scary. But, I’d rather you start over than spin your wheels going nowhere.

Have a blessed day and remember to find the “jolly” in every “moment” life brings your way!

~ Keishawna

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Things Are Not Always as They Appear

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Just remember that sometimes, the way you think about a person isn’t the way they actually are. John Green

Just as you cannot always judge a book by its cover, you cannot always judge a person by his cover!

When I met my husband, his cover was beat up and bruised by life. Since I initially had no love interest in him, we became friends. As I opened the cover and turned the pages of his life, I knew I would become a part of his story.
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Love The Skin You Are In!

Love The Skin You Are In!

There is void in some of us that make us need to feel loved and liked by others. Some people can function just fine if no one applauds them or approves of them. I, for years, was never that person.

I needed the approval of others to the degree that I sometimes made poor decisions trying to please one group, only to realize that I upset another group in the process. Although I had heard the saying “you can’t please everybody all of the time” and knew that it was true, for some reason I still tried.

Trying to please people is like being on a merry-go-round, spinning you around in circles and getting you nowhere but back at the spot where you began.

As I grew older, I realized that insecurity was the root of my people pleasing. I, like many women, would see the image the media portrayed as beautiful and would compare myself to that. Even though I knew many of those images were not real and were a result of airbrushed pictures, liposuction, implants, plastic surgery, etc, yet I still compared myself.

Theodore Roosevelt said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” It steals your joy because comparison will make you underestimate what you have and overestimate what someone else has. That woman you are comparing yourself to, I guarantee you is comparing herself to someone else.

Yesterday our Pastor preached on a scripture that I have heard a thousand times. “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son.” (John 3:16) When I heard the scripture, I thought it would be the usual message teaching us that Jesus died for our sins, but today was different.

He titled the message, “For God So Loved Me.” He spoke of the love of God and how no matter what we do God loves, and approves of us. He spoke about how women spend so much money on makeup, hair, nails, shoes, clothes, etc to enhance the outward all in search of significance and approval.

Now, I know that there is nothing wrong with enhancing the outward appearance, but none of that will complete you because it is temporal. When you take off the hair, nails, clothes, shoes, handbags etc that same insecure woman will still stare back at you in the mirror. She is not going anywhere and all the makeup and fine clothes, jewelry, and purses in the world cannot make her go away. You have to find your completeness, security and significance in something else.

Our Pastor concluded his message with telling the congregation that His (God’s) love is the only thing that will complete us. “Even if you feel like you have nothing. If you have God’s love, you have everything.”

As I listened to the message, I thought about my life. My insecurities came in because of childhood abuse. That abused little girl grew to be an insecure woman who knew how to mask it from the world. No one looking at me, or even close to me, knew my struggle unless I shared my story.

Today, I heard a scripture and message that I have heard so many times through fresh ears. Today I received it and settled it in my heart that God loves me and approves of me, and it does not matter what others think.

Dita Von Teese said, You can be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.” That quote sums it all up. No matter how “perfect” you try to be, there will always be someone who does not like or approve of you. So do yourself a favor and STOP TRYING! I know I am.

I purpose from this day forth to love the skin I am in and embrace how God created me. Does it mean I will not have days where insecurity creeps up or the temptation to compare creeps up? No, those days and moments will still occur. The difference is that I will not fall victim to those moments, and will hold my head up and recognize the jewel and the beauty that God created when he created me. I will not believe the lie that someone else is better than I am. They may be different, but it doesn’t’ make them better. “One thing I can do better than anyone else is be ME.No more comparison, I am just striving to be the best me I can be.

If you are out there and you struggle with insecurities, I encourage you also to end the struggle and settle it that God loves you supremely and nothing else matters. Love the skin you are in! One thing you can do better than anyone else is be yourself.

One definition of unique is “having no like or equal; unparalleled; incomparable.” There is only one you. There is only one me. That makes us unique and incomparable. That makes us beautiful just the way we are!

Have a blessed day and remember to find the “jolly” in every “moment” life brings your way!

~ Keishawna

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Say No More!

SAY NO MORE!

Today as I dropped my son off to his Mother’s Day Out program, I stopped to talk to one of my friends and fellow parents of the program. As we conversed, I thought of a quote that I used to love. It is by Jerry Lewis and it simply says, “For those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those who don’t understand, no explanation is possible.”

My life has changed dramatically since September 2011. I got married, I gained stepchildren, I got pregnant, I re-launched a business, I had a baby, I quit my job, I became a full-time stay at home mom and wife, etc. I literally overnight went from being single and living alone to married with children and a baby on the way. All of this has happened in less than two years.

I often get the comments of “I haven’t heard from you, you haven’t called me, why haven’t you come by, what you do all day, you don’t have time for me, you’ve changed…..”

I used to wear myself out trying to help others understand that if they do not hear from me or see me, it is not intentional, I have just been busy. That people pleasing part me would sometimes make me feel obligated in the rare moments I have to myself to occupy it with talking on the phone with others or visiting others. Sometimes saying “yes” to others means you are saying “no” to yourself.

As I spoke with my friend this morning, we did not condemn each other because we were days late returning a text or because we have not had that play date we have talked about or because we have not had that lunch date we have talked about. Those things did not come up because we both know that we intend to do those things and will one day when time permits.

It was refreshing to talk to someone and not have to explain what I do with my time. In this journey as a wife and mother, I have realized on more than one occasion that if your reality is not another’s they may never understand and that is okay.

So, I am committed to freeing myself from the bondage of false obligation that I must give an account of every second of my day to people who feel like they do not see enough of, or hear enough from, me. If you are my friend and if you love me, I do not have to explain. You will just welcome and enjoy the time we do have when we get to have it.

“For those who understand, no explanation is necessary; for those who don’t understand, no explanation is possible.”

Have a blessed day and remember to find the “jolly” in every “moment” life brings your way!

~ Keishawna

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Do It Afraid!

Do It Afraid 2

“Forget all the reasons why it won’t work and believe the one reason why it will”

What would you dare to do if you knew the outcome would be favorable or what you desired? Maybe you would write that book, go back to college, apply for that promotion, start that business, love your spouse without restraint, etc.

The fear of the unknown sometimes paralyzes us and keeps us from stepping out on faith and moving forward.

We sometimes focus so heavily on why we CAN NOT do something, that we do not take the time to think why we CAN do whatever it is that has been heavy on our heart to do.

Sometimes the simplest things teach us the best lessons. Recently I watched a cartoon called “Meet the Robinsons.” I recorded it for the kids, but it sure taught this adult a lesson.

This cartoon was about a little boy who almost missed out on the very thing he was hoping for because he was tired of failing. He was able to see a glimpse of his future and realized that if he just let go of the past and moved forward he would obtain that which he hoped to have.

We live in the real world and no one is going to come with a time machine and take us 30 years into the future like on the cartoon. However, I can tell you that you will never know if that thing you are hoping for will become a reality if you never try.

So “forget all the reasons why it won’t work and believe the one reason why it will.” I do not know what the one reason is for you, but I encourage you to find that one reason, hold on to it and pursue that which you have been afraid to do.

I know there is something specific that God wants me to do. For so long the fear of failure made me afraid to take the first step. Yes, there are many things that could go wrong and there are many reasons why what I am attempting to do may not work, but I am not going to focus on that. In keeping with the quote, I will focus on the one reason why it will work. That reason is God told me it would and that is the only reason I need.

Does it mean you and I won’t be afraid as we move forward? No, there is a chance that at times you will “feel” fear, however you have to press passed it and keep moving forward.

MOVE FORWARD. DO IT AFRAID IF YOU HAVE TO, BUT DO IT! If you fail, learn from it and try again! I leave you with this, “I’d rather attempt to do something great and fail than attempt to do nothing and succeed.” -Robert H. Schuller

Here are a few quotes to help you move forward and do it afraid:
“It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not.” Denis Waitley
“Don’t be afraid to fail. Be afraid not to try.” Michael Jordan
“Decide that you want it, more than you are afraid of it.” Bill Cosby
“Take action! An inch of movement will bring you closer to your goal than a mile of intention.” Dr. Steve Maraboli
“It’s always impossible until it’s done.” Nelson Mandela
“Never give up on your dream because of the time it will take to accomplish it. That time will pass anyway.” Earl Nightingale
“Remember there are no mistakes, only lessons. Love yourself; trust your choices and everything is possible.” Cherie Carter Scott
“Our greatest glory is not never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

Have a blessed day and remember to find the “jolly” in every “moment” life brings your way!

~ Keishawna

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Count Your Blessings!

“Someone is praying for the blessings you take for granted.”

When I came across this quote on Pinterest I was speechless. I thought of how many times today I complained that I had to chase my 11 month old son out of the bathroom and pull toilet paper out of his mouth. I thought about how many times I complained that I didn’t have time to work on my wedding and event planning business because my son was a busy bee and all over the place. I thought about how many times I complained that my son pulled my freshly folded laundry off the table, or pulled my undergarments out of my top drawer, or tried to pull my brand new lamps off the end tables. Then I read this quote and suddenly my complaints felt superficial.

Here I was complaining about what my son was doing when several women I love long to have a son to complain about. So instead of focusing on all he’s doing wrong, and I really can’t say doing wrong because he is simply being a child and exploring his world, I instead will focus on that fact that I have him. God blessed me with a beautiful son and from this day forth I purpose to not take that blessing for granted. So who cares how many times I have to refold the laundry, pick up my undergarments, or restock toilet paper! I’m a mother and that in itself is a blessing!

So to you mothers out there who may be stressed out or tired because your child is not conforming to your schedule, count your blessings. Your child is a blessing. It doesn’t mean that the days you want to pull your hair out behind your child are not valid. Your feelings on those days are valid. All I’m simply saying is, somewhere, some woman is praying that she had a child that made her want to pull her hair out.

Be encouraged and remember that “The joy of the Lord is your strength” and He can get you through any trial or rough day. After all, He counted you worthy enough to go through the trial by the mere fact he blessed you with your child. So on a rough day, remember “Someone is praying for the blessings you take for granted.”

Have a blessed day and remember to find the “jolly” in every “moment” life brings your way on today!

~ Keishawna

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Image Credit: Image found on Pinterest.

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